


narcissus

by Amber



Series: Create Something Every Day! (October 2018) [6]
Category: Snotgirl (Comics)
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, Cunnilingus, F/F, Kissing, Obsession, October Prompt Challenge, One-Sided Lottie Person/Charlene (Snotgirl), Past Sunny Days/Lottie Person, Praise Kink, Sharing Clothes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 21:44:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16503257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amber/pseuds/Amber
Summary: Prompt 7: Praise Kink.(She wants her. She wants to be her.)





	narcissus

**Author's Note:**

> hey so i'm in love with this canon and its portrayal of gay mirroring in women, the consumption of female sexuality, and the toxic relationship between lottie and caroline. there's only 11 issues so far, read 'em and come talk to me!

"Pretty girl," says Caroline, dragging a finger over Lottie's glossy, overlined lips. "Why don't you come home with me?"

She says it in a way that means something else. And it's their third date, and Caroline is dark-hair-always-sleek, china-boned, poised and beautiful, so different to messy, sloppy Lottie. And she smells good, like a perfume Lottie can't place — ("Is that the new Marc Jacobs?" Lottie asks, guessing, and Caroline laughs.) Lottie wants her. Lottie wants to be her.

But isn't that how it works? Isn't that why Charlene had kissed her at the New Year's Eve party? Her panties, her dress, her boyfriend, her coffee place, even Charlene wasn't that far off Lottie's full name. But she hadn't wanted to steal Lottie's life out of cruelty. It was a desperate attempt to metamorphose into something she found desirable. She wanted Lottie. She wanted to be Lottie.

In Charlotte's big Hollywood hills house, Lottie says, "Can I try on some of your clothes?" 

She spends hours keeping herself waxed silken and toned and tan and perfect, so she tries not to be awkward about slipping out of the dress she picked for their date. Caroline sits on the edge of her bed, which is a vast dark sea of possibility behind her, and watches Lottie coolly. The dress she slips on is the one from the night they kissed in the desert — that was a full season ago, Lottie can't believe it's still in Caroline's closet. But maybe cool girls don't care about the trends if they can set them.

It fits, just, though her breasts sit strangely, too big, straining the fabric. And her green hair, when she looks in the mirror, clashes garishly, and her makeup is too too much compared to Caroline's BB cream and barely there eyeliner. Lottie looks at herself and curls her toes in the carpet. Feels her nose itch like it wants to run.

"Sooo cute," says Caroline in a tone that might be sarcasm, might not. As if she's sensing Lottie's dissatisfaction, her pain at how hard she tries and how miserably she fails, she comes over — but not to comfort. Stands next to Lottie in the mirror, slipping a thin arm around her waist, juxtaposing herself. She is everything Lottie isn't and could never be. "We should take a selfie."

Lottie hates that idea. She hates all of Caroline's ideas, but she doesn't want to seem petulant or crazy, doesn't want her emotions and insecurity to get in the way of a good evening. Pushes down the sensation that she's being made fun of: "Sure, cute. Just for us, right?"

"Mm," agrees Caroline, amused.

She holds the phone at a distance, and, impromptu, determined to keep it too personal to share, Lottie takes her chin and kisses her, the first one she's initiated. The camera snaps, once, twice, three times. Caroline tastes like whiskey and Ellis Faas lipstick in blood red.

"You should take it off before you stretch it out too much," Caroline says, and Lottie shivers, because that's a mean thing to say but it's also — like, Caroline is right there, unzipping her. Pressing lipstick kisses to her neck as she slides the dress off.

"You have such good tits," Caroline says, lifts them with two hands, pushes her face into the plushness of them. Lottie giggles, embarrassed — Sunny used to do the same thing. Though he didn't also say: "I wish I could have tits like these."

Coolgirl wanting something of hers makes Lottie thrill all the way to her toes, because wanting to live inside someone else's body has to be the truest expression of desire. _Call me by your name and I'll call you by mine_ , and she still isn't sure she liked that movie but something about that had resonated in her, even curled into Sunny on the couch, Sunny who was nothing like her at all.

Caroline takes her panties down and goes to her knees. Lottie has only ever done this with Sunny, but Caroline lacks his reverent gentleness. She teases. She bites. "Look at us," she says, smearing her wet face over Lottie's thigh, and Lottie looks at their reflections, the way she's turned into a tearful desperate mess just from Caroline's clever mouth, thinks that nobody could ever want her, nobody could ever want to be her. Not this Lottie. Not Snottie.

But: "So pretty," Caroline croons softly, meeting her eyes in the mirror, and Lottie clenches around her fingers needily. "You're so hot, Lottie. Dripping everywhere for me. My beautiful mess."

And she thumbs Lottie's clit, but it's almost unnecessary as the praise catches and ignites and Lottie comes and comes and comes.


End file.
